Big big steps, causing a myriad of fears

I will be moving away to college in September. The Royal National College for the Blind is amazing, and I cannot wait to go.

Yet, fear is beginning to wheedle its way in to my mind and chest, attaching itself, and gnawing away at my brain, making me worry.

My fears are too hard to explain precisely. I am afraid of leaving my family who I have never been independent from. Yet, I am afraid of the fact that the more they are around me, the more I want to spread my wings and take a step away from them. This feeling is very new, and scary as our family are a closely knit one.

I am desperate to make friends, yet, I have never, ever had a school friend. This makes me worry, irrationally, that I will be alone again with no one to talk to. I know this will not happen, as my fellow students are similar to me and will not be scared to approach a blind young woman as they have a form of blindness themselves.

I am very excited. I do not doubt RNC, as I know it is the place I want to be. However, sometimes the balance of fear and excitement can go off keel a little.

Now, I must focus on excitement. I will be seeing RNC for a new student conference this Friday to Saturday, so I will have a chance to rekindle my excitement, and meet others. Then, I have to focus on enjoying my summer, and feeling excited about this change.

Amazing opportunity

Last year, I went to Riga, Latvia, with a charity for the blind, VICTA. It was a trip for the visually impaired, and was international. The trip stands for International Computer and Communications Camp. People from all over Europe and Asia went. We took part in all kinds of workshops, went shopping, explored the city, and made life long friends.

I doubted I would get a place again this year. I hoped and prayed, but, I still doubted.

Today however, I found out that I have been granted a place.

So in July, I will set off for Zeist, The Netherlands. I will see old friends and meet new ones: I will also try new workshops, and experience a new city.

This was a dream come true for me. My first remark was “Pinch me! There Must be a mistake!” But, there wasn’t. And I will go!

I will post more of my experiences at the camp last year soon, but for now, I will bask in my adrenaline and thrill. If I went in to detail about special memories, I may hyperventilate from sheer joy.